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To the Beloved AstroBin Community, Hi. I'm fairly certain this post is not what you might typically expect from this introduction section. Don't get me wrong here, the purpose of this post is to introduce myself formally to the community. Usually, however, we might expect that to come from someone who hasn't been in the hobby and in this community for over 15% of their life. Yes, I need to introduce myself anew to a community that deserves to know the real me. I have made friends here, and gained valuable skills and connections which will impact the course of my life forever. I have been inactive for the past year, for various reasons. Over the summer, I had started working on a big multiple-month project. Then, I had to take the time to slog through a tough senior year due to the pandemic, all the while working on college and scholarship applications. But, for many years even before I began my AP journey, there were other struggles holding me back. Imagine you're given a salad that's mostly good, but has a fatal flaw: mushrooms (If you like mushrooms in a salad, imagine something you dislike). Occasionally, the mushrooms are just bland and give an unsatisfying texture. The salad is still manageable & you choke it down. But not every salad will be like that. On other days, the mushrooms are pungent and gross you out, ruining the whole salad. Now suppose you notice that all your comrades are given salads that are different to yours. There are no mushrooms, instead this one is topped with olives. You have never had olives on a salad like this, so you are a little bit hesitant to try it. But a glance down at the plate in front of you speaks a powerful message. You don't know if the olives will make things better, but the slop you have been served is no good regardless. That has been my experience with myself. My identity and my body are like mushrooms. Sometimes the crunch of iceberg lettuce drowns them out. On particularly bad days, I just don't show up for fear of being served a monstrosity. It feels bad when that monstrosity is yourself, including your name and your body, full time. In how people perceive you, and speak to you. In how you are forced to look at yourself in the mirror every single day. It was tough to struggle with this for my entire life, manifesting in many forms. I liken it in many ways to the story of the seasick squid. You all can look it up, but the premise is a squid is born with chronic seasickness, cursed by his ocean domain to feel nauseous every second. But, since he is an ocean dweller, never knows he is sick. That's just what being alive feels like. Eventually, through fairytale magic, he gets to go ashore and be free of illness for the first time. But he has to go back to sea, to his friends and family and job. By feeling good once in his life, he had lost the ability to really be happy with the nausea anymore. It was a long time ago, I found my own dry land. I repressed it. If you were the squid, wouldn't you want to be happy in the ocean too? Over the past seven or eight months, it got to be too much. Earlier this year, I decided I was going back to the beach. And I was gonna build a damn nice hut under a palm tree. You're all invited; I baked scones  Living as my old self just isn't cutting it anymore. It's like being given a test on a subject you know through-and-through, but are not allowed to use a pen or pencil. No, it must be completed using a potato. A potato. Good luck. With that. I've been living my own identity 95% of the time for the last month or so. And it feels so good. It makes me think of Red: A Crayon's Story. It's a children's book, which, again, can be looked up. But a blue crayon is given a red label at the factory. Growing up, he is asked to draw red things & everyone thinks he is just a bad or stupid red crayon. But, once he is allowed to draw blue things and perceived of as blue, it's like he was made for it! That's what this recent experience has been like. So, I guess after 750 odd words and three years I owe my fellow astrophotographers a proper introduction. My name is Lilith, pronouns she/her/hers. You have probably gotten quite used to the old tenant who was recently evicted. I assure you, I'm a lot like him. I'm an astrophotographer from Shingle Springs, CA. 18 years old with a life of nerdistry ahead of me. Headed to the University of Arizona in the fall to study astrophysics and mathematics. I love StarTools & obscure deep sky targets. I'm a math freak. All of these things are true for us both. I just so happen to be a woman, too. I'm sure my transition and related steps will come with the little personal notes I include in image descriptions. My profile picture was lost to the data breach last year, and due to gender dysphoria I never ended up replacing it. I impulsively decided to rush this out earlier than I prepared for, so I might look at this tomorrow morning and rush out corrections or change things from what I have here. Whoopsies in advance. Also, and for the same reason, I don't have an updated profile picture just yet. Expect one from me soon, especially since my hair has been described as looking like "space dust" after adding a metallic blue dye. Might even haver to upload as a standalone image, though I'll probably opt my followers out of notifications on that one... On another note, I was looking through the public groups and saw that there was no group for LGBT individuals. So, I created one! To all the lovely astrophotographers who identify with the LGBT community, I want to see you & I want you to be seen. There is now a public group for LGBTQIA+ astrophotographers, open to the whole community. So spread the word! I did not know how to categorize it, but tagged it an "Internet Community" in a similar fashion to the Women Astrophotographers group. Also, it will initially be unmoderated. By default, I figured images should be automatically entered into the group. However, this does raise the concern of people who want to be involved without outing themselves on every image. For now, they have been left out of automatic submission. Partially due to some minor technical difficulties. I hope to be a leader in helping to make this community safe and welcome for all individuals, regardless of individual gender identity or expression, or one's romantic or sexual orientation. I welcome community feedback from LGBT individuals on these matters. Thank you to everyone on here I have come to call a friend. I hope this strengthens our friendship. I hope to become more active again as I move with this, and give back much more to a community that I have been lucky enough to call home. I love you all. Clear Skies, Lily |
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Welcome Lily and thanks for sharing your story!! I'm happy to read you've taken the step and look forward to seeing your work!! And also thanks for making this a richer community! Best regards, Ginge |
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| Lovely to read your story Lily. If there one thing that astrophotography can do, it is to remind us that our images connect us with something much larger than the overwhelming and confusing issues we confront each day as we live our lives. When we actually see the objects we are imaging, we may begin to appreciate that we are actually part of something truly amazing. All of our images, whether they be good, bad or indifferent, serve to remind us that we are incredibly rare and precious. After all, in all the vastness of the universe, there is only one you. While we will always experience the ups and downs of life, it is possible to take refuge from all the hustle and bustle by looking at where we are and appreciating our special place in the universe. As Carl Sagan once so eloquently said, “The cosmos is within us. We are made of star-stuff. We are a way for the universe to know itself.” Stay safe and look up! |
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| Welcome, Lily! Always nice to meet another one of those strange individuals who shares a passion for obscure deep sky targets. Sounds like you have an exciting career with a "life of nerdistry" ahead of you! |
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Welcome, Lily! Congratulations on coming out! Thank you for sharing your story. Mine is similar, except for the ages: I figured it out at age 62! I envy you youngsters with your life of nerdistry ahead of you. Regards, Kathy |
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I am so happy that you are here, Lily. I've spent time in Shingle Springs. I like the quiet. I am eager to see your work and your vision of the Universe. In fact, our Fine Art Astrophotography group might be a great place to post your images that push the envelope. Finally, I hope that you have the time to stay connected with our AstroBin community when you are pursuing your studies at UA. It great to have a place and group of people that know you and have your back. CS, Gary |
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Ginge, Thank you for the kind words! Steve, I agree with you there. I am still fundamentally me, and I personally believe that one of the strengths of an internet community like AstroBin is that it is much easier to bring us all together than set up walls which divide us. The Sagan quote was a nice touch! Texas Gary, Read the message I sent you. What a morning it has been for us both. Kathy, I appreciate that you figured it out at all at any age. I know it is tough. It's why I appreciate those who came before me, showing more courage than I will ever have so that I will never have to. You have my best wishes. Monterey Gary, Yes, it is a nice area. How funny would it have been that you ended up with that property you were considering, and we ended up neighbors. If ever I do end up with narrowband filters, I do intend to push that envelope. I will keep your group invite in mind. And I do intend to stay connected while off at college. Like I said, this is my home. Keep looking up, Lily |
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i am beyond proud of you lily! you are amazing! love, mom |
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Good for you Lily and thanks for such a nice introduction. Everyone should live on a beach that gives them joy and I’m glad to hear that you found yours. I look forward to seeing your images and reading your stories. I wish you well at UA and I hope that your experience there is as good as mine was. Tucson has communities for everyone so tune into KXCI when you arrive and you’ll feel right at home in no time. John |
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Lily, I am very glad that you are here and that you shared your story. I look forward to your contributions here at AstroBin. As you move through you studies at UA you will learn so much more about our universe and I hope you embellish your posts here with that knowledge. I am always impressed by people who choose math as a major. Mostly because I struggled so much with it as a student. Math will open many doors for you, regardless of what path you choose going forward, career-wise. I have seen that consistently over the years. All the best to you and look forward to your posts! Alan |
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John, thank you! I appreciate the kind words. I'm glad to hear from a Wildcat here on AstroBin, and will keep KXCI in mind when I move in August. Alan, I'm looking forward to the future here on AstroBin. It is lovely to be a part of what is probably the best community on the Internet, enjoying our love of astrophotography together. Wishing the best to you as wel! |
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Hi Lily, a warm official welcome to AstroBin from me too and congrats on your journey! Salvatore |
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Salvatore, Thank you very much for hosting this platform and community. It has become a part of me in many ways. Mom, do know that I love you. You have been more than supportive of me every step of the way. |
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Welcome Lily! Thank you for sharing your story. I too, will be looking forward to your contributions. The path that you are taking with studying science and mathematics will open many doors for you in the future. My oldest son is a math nerd which opened up the world of video game programing as his career. Your studies will no doubt create endless possibilities for you. More importantly, your educational path will give you an advantage in having a better understanding of the amazing objects you will be imaging in this hobby. I regret not working harder on math when I was your age but now that I'm retired, maybe I'll see if I can teach this old dog a new trick or two! Good luck with your studies. Hopefully you will find time to enjoy the amazing Arizona night skies. Clear skies! Bob |
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| Bob, thank you for the well wishes and kind words! I hope the Arizona skies are as fruitful as you claim. For, if so, I may never be able to go back to a Bortle 4 again. |
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Lily, I'm north of Tucson in a Bortle 5 area but that's an improvement over my Bortle off the scale light pollution when I lived in the suburbs of Los Angeles. There's a a couple of IDA certified dark sky sites close to UA - Kartchner Caverns State Park and Oracle State Park. Once I get a better handle on what I'm doing I hope to head out to some dark sky sites. By the way, your images are fantastic! |
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| Thank you, Bob! I appreciate it! I've been considering buying a travel setup with a refractor or the like to take with me to Tucson, since I don't want to haul a big SCT & CGX combo. People from Arizona on this site have certainly been pushing me in that direction, and I might pull the trigger sometime this summer. Especially with prime IDA real estate nearby. |
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Welcome, Lily! Thank you for introducing yourself, and sharing your journey. I look forward to seeing your work. Good luck in Uni in the fall! Cheers, Mark |
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| Mark, thank you. I am grateful to hear it! |
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I'm very happy for you Lily... doing this in the honest and honorable way you did takes personal courage. If it is OK with you, I will consider this a re-introduction as we've been friends here on AB for a while. When I was thinking about it earlier, what came to mind was this, from Hamlet... -advice from Polonius to his son Laertes “This above all: to thine own self be true, And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man. Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!” |
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| Mike, you are free to interpret this however best suits you. For me personally, I like to quip that I'm the new tenant after the old one on this body got evicted. It's basically inaccurate, but sets me up for a good joke on occasion. And yes, I agree. I am just doing what I can to identify and express in the way that feels most natural. That's what this has been. And it's amazing how powerful this is. I never knew I could be so simply happy and love myself so much. I appreciate your kindness and support, and hope to be a better neighbor than the guy who just got booted! Clear skies, amigo. |
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Why does the LGBT.... community need so much attention and promotion??? I don't care what gender you are or what ever you are! Astrobin is for astrophotographers, to share images, to share knowledge on this matter, to help others with the same hobby to improve their astrophotography skills, ... I would gladly help ANYBODY with an Astrophotography related problem, but please keep you personal stuff to yourself. How would this forum look like if everybody would share things that do not belong here. CS |
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Peter Komatović: This is an introduction thread in an introduction forum. It is supposed to be personal. If you don't care about someone's gender or any other aspect of their life, then don't care about it. Close the topic and move on to something you do care about. If all you want to see is pictures, then look at the pictures, and don't open introduction threads. |
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Kathy Walker:Peter Komatović: I agree with Kathy. Lily’s introduction was absolutely appropriate here in the introduction thread. For those of us that have a friendship with Lily here in Asrobin, it was also appreciated. I for one felt lucky to be included in her important personal news. For many of us, AstroBin is both a place to see the best in astrophotography, as well as a social networking site. I appreciate my many AstroBin friends. |
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| Bravo, Lily, and welcome. Be who you are, and be happy. I hope our paths cross here on Astrobin. |
